How to Deal With Grief: Adjusting to Devastating Loss

How to Deal With Grief: Adjusting to Devastating Loss

As the flood waters recede in Queensland, and many families are planning funeral and memorial services, they need to know how to deal with their grief and what steps they can take to begin to heal from such devastating loss

So many people underestimate the impact that grief has on their lives; they are flung into this nightmare and have no idea what to do or what is normal. They feel totally alien to themselves and can be completely overwhelmed by the intensity of their emotions and the impact which the loss has on their whole body, it affects them on every level.

When we are in such devastating pain, all we want are things the way they were. We want our life as it once was and our loved ones back with us. The intensity of the emotional pain is crippling as we wake up each day without them. We wonder how we’ll ever get through this and how we’ll deal with this pain, day in, day out. We want to know what to do next, how to cope and what we can do to feel better, to stop hurting so much.

Here are 3 key steps you can take right now to begin the process of adjusting to loss

– Express and feel your emotions: As much as it hurts, suppressing how you feel is like putting a lid on a pressure cooker and turning off the steam valve, eventually it will blow. By expressing your emotions, you start the healing process. Sometimes the emotions can be overwhelming so we might have to stage their release. Starting the ritual of taking time for daily writing can be one way to do this.

– Get support: It is so important that when we are grieving we have support. Say ‘Yes’ when people reach out. Finding out how others have adapted to loss can be so helpful in knowing that you too will get through this. Joining a grief support group can also be of tremendous value, either online or in person. Someone who has been through what you have is more likely to understand in many ways that others cannot. Utilise available resources, programmes and services to support you in your healing journey.

– Do what feels right for you: The experience of grief and loss is extremely personal and different for everyone. It can be totally all-consuming and pervade every part of your being to the exclusion of everything else. Other people may have no idea of the inner turmoil you are experiencing, or they are very well aware and meaning well, encourage you to do this or do that. It becomes critical that you consider yourself at this time. Listen to your heart, and do what feels right for you, even if it goes against family wishes or convention. Look after you.

When we lose someone we love so dearly, we wonder how we will ever survive. By utilising these beginning steps you can start to heal from such devastating loss. You will survive! You are stronger than you know.